Psychology of Human Beings
Time and again, Baba had emphasized the importance of applying psychology in our daily activities and dealings with other people. The understanding and application of psychology in our lives greatly enhances the quality of the results of our actions and solves many difficult problems easily.
A new didi was posted in Shivapuri, Madhya Pradesh in 1983. She is the daughter of a ghrii acarya, who was close to Baba.
Being new, this didi tried very hard to adjust to the difficult life of a renunciate. This is not always easy, as a renunciate has to renounce all worldly possessions and attachments. He or she lives only to serve humanity through sadhana, service and sacrifice. Just like a jeweler takes a lot of effort and time to turn a diamond nugget into a polished jewel, the yogi also takes many, many hard years to refine his character and slowly transform his personality from animality to divinity.
One day, we were informed that the didi had a serious personal problem that had to be urgently addressed. The immediate solution to that problem required her to be transferred from her posting in Shivapuri. The Women's Welfare Department (WWD), which was responsible for the didi, had already sent someone to deal with the problem, but had not met with much success.
Baba was informed of the situation and requested me to solve the problem. This was a bit unusual, as a didi's problem would usually be solved by a didi. Nevertheless, I was prepared to play whatever role given to me. Baba then called me into His room and explained in detail how to solve the problem. He said that as I was dealing with a didi, I had to understand the psychology of woman in detail. He then demonstrated many different gestures and postures of women in their different states of mind and explained the relationship of each gestures or posture and women's emotions and state of mind. He added that there is a fundamental difference between the psychology of a man and a woman. He also said there are psychological differences between married and unmarried women and also between married women with children and those without children. He added that although monks and nuns have both sacrificed their worldly lives for spiritual pursuits, there was a fundamental psychological difference between them due to differences in their biological structure. In this regard, men and women should be treated differently, although both are children of the Supreme Entity. A man is psychologically more stable and can be treated in any way. A woman, however, must be treated very delicately, like a flower. Baba clarified that there are many ways to relate to women - as mother, sister, daughter and friend. One has to develop the intuition to see which relationship suits a particular woman best, so that we could guide them properly in the path of spirituality.
Baba also touched on the psychology of parents. He said, "He who only loves the children spoils them. He who only punishes them is like an enemy. Parents should use the stick and carrot approach in dealing with children - sometimes even punishing them, depending on the circumstances, but always to enhance their welfare.
Baba added that in dealing with living beings, whether human, animal or plant, a loving attitude is very important. He said that love, fear and respect are closely related and very necessary in our relationship with all living beings. In the realm of spirituality, however, the three elements of love merge into one, and only a sweet, one-pointed, intense love for the Supreme Consciousness remains. In this state, the devotee lives only for the Supreme Entity, to love the Supreme Entity. His existence is meaningless without the Supreme Entity. This is called madhura bhava in spiritual philosophy, which is a very exalted state of spiritual realization.
Armed with this lengthy explanation of women's psychology, I went to Shivapuri to solve the didi's problem. I took a bus and reached there around noon. I remembered Baba's description of how women behave in different circumstances and how to deal with different types of women. I applied that knowledge in this difficult situation and requested didi to follow me to Calcutta. I was surprised that she agreed to come with me, despite earlier efforts by a didi from the WWD office. I mentally thanked Baba for the privileged information He gave me to solve this particular problem.
As a monk, detailed knowledge of the psychology of women is not very necessary for my personal spiritual advancement. But a sannyasin of Ananda Marga transcends his personal ambitions. He lives only to serve society, as service to humanity is service to God. In this regard, he is required to work in society, serving it in various ways, including welfare, relief work and education. Baba wants the sannyasins of Ananda Marga to be armed with all types of knowledge, from mundane to spiritual knowledge, so that they are better able to serve humanity.